Ethereal Ruminations

Note: first Substack publication

Observation: “Just make the pain go away” (to be explored in future edit)

My Substack name was derived from Carrie Fisher’s novel ‘Postcards From The Edge’, also made into a movie. The book is enlightening (I enjoyed it immensely), Fisher was obviously very intelligent and her recovery from drug addiction difficult but admirable. I am not an addict, never have been and the reason why the title appealed to me is breathtakingly mundane: I live in a walkout basement suite. Little originality or genius wordsmithing there.

Websearch info: “The title "Postcards from the Edge" is a metaphorical reference to being on the brink of a personal crisis, specifically related to addiction and mental health. In the context of Carrie Fisher's novel, the "edge" symbolizes the precarious state of sanity and survival that the protagonist experiences while struggling with drug addiction.”

Well, the part about my ‘being on the brink of personal crisis’ may have minor applicability...

I’m certain that any and every thing I recount here has been documented before in numerous venues, since it represents a universal and perpetual state of the human condition. I present it not for self-aggrandizement but on impulse that others may benefit from my experience. I am not seeking subscriptions and indeed may publish nothing more than one, two or several scribblings; my intention is only to share, and trust that others may benefit from my experience. Please accept my apologies in advance for lack of writing skills, I have no formal training and am merely indulging in train-of-consciousness recounting. I will incorporate the practice of reverential capitalization, the use of capitals for names or words of import associated with spiritual themes.

For over ten years I have been practising daily meditation, motivated by an intuitive sense of, for want of a better word, mystery. My supposition is that this represents spiritual pursuit but since I am a rational actor schooled in mechanical fields my usual tendency is to frame my worldview from a mechanical, technological and scientific perspective which obviated credence for an alternate universe. But that gnawing sense of ‘something different, something else’ propelled me to this radically different mode of exploration. Since there are differing interpretations of what spiritual practice entails, my definition would be active contemplation (yeah, i know, somewhat contradictory).

I assume that my experience will have limited applicability to the potential readership because we all differ in many ways. I would submit that becoming aware of Higher Realities is not a single practice but an art with many alternative methods, and mine will appeal (or not) to a fractional number of people.

Often people with religious background will volunteer that the seeker of Truth (or more likely seeker of relief from psychological distress) requires a certain amount of Faith. Perhaps a more useful term and its associated perspective is Trust.

How does one arrive at the state/status/condition of Trust? My avenue was certitude, the conscious rationalization, realization, awareness and acceptance of my perception of Reality. This comprised the conceptualization and conviction that the universe (regardless of how title we personally know of it) is real, persistent and rational, and though in constant flux is ordered and stable, i.e., non-chaotic. I can’t volunteer why this path was successful for me other than give me a focal point, I only know that it was. (Edit: latter realization illuminates the essence of this rationale, it is my in-progress Fidelity to Truth and Reality countering a certain level of habitual denial) Each individual must find his/her own way to Trust and I would caution that certitude of any negativity must not be pursed, only of positive concepts. An exception might be the individual at wit’s end, i.e., in desperate straits, perceiving no way out of his/her dilemma. I would propose that then only a sincere and committed beseeching of help, assistance or resolution may suffice.

IMO, the core element in achieving the state of Trust is the concept, acceptance and practice of ‘losing oneself’. This was a frightening practice for me and I assume for most, but essential for success. The very essence of the practice is the external direction of ones intention and attention.

For many years in meditation it was extremely difficult for me to acquire the proper mindset, though I intuitively knew it was required. In retrospect the biggest hurdle was ‘letting go’, in other words, surrender. I hated that word, it was anathema to my self concept, an abridgement of my very sense of self, an affront to my individuality. Because it was an obvious threat to the ego, it implied huge risk and this threat was insurmountable for a long time. I was in terror of this relinquishment of personal control, absolute terror, and in final analysis fear was the single biggest impediment blocking trust. Ultimately there was no other avenue I could perceive. It was necessary to refocus and redirect my attention to the ‘Outer’ (whatever that is...) as opposed to the ‘inner’ (i.e., me, the limited, insecure self).

The perception of the practitioner when engaged in the state of Trust is that of orienting toward and/or contacting or communicating with ‘something else’ or ‘another’, but when achieved it also embodies a sense of heightened awareness, almost illuminating in its preliminary stages, and providing solace, quietude and peace. Once accustomed to the sensation it feels like ‘Coming Home’. (query: why would we and do we come to live in an inferior psychological state)?

One doesn’t have to know what or whom he/she is trusting, that’s the magic of it: one only has to experience the sensation. Trust accesses the Ineffable, whatever that may signify to each individual. Once Trust enters the individual’s consciousness, certain to follow is Surety, which I propose to write about in next recounting.

Of interest is the cognition that inclusion of Life or Living Universe to the above definition/description embodies the concept of a god or God. This is not my personal inclination but await your own experience of Trust and Surety to determine your response.

(Interestingly, counter to my original postulation, this entire practice does embody an element of Faith, which I define as a combination of trust and conviction. It’s just that my preference inclines to non-religious terminology that is not constrained by preconception and religious esoteric meaning).

Edit: Faith accesses an energy expressed and experienced as a positive certitude/conviction, at once moderating, positive, enervating, consoling, embracing: a warm spiritual-psycho-emotional blanket. It is most likely an energetic expression of spiritual energy originating (with my limited understanding) from undefined source.

For now, as Porky Pig would stutter (I’m dating myself...), “That’s All Folks”. Hopefully the reader will have benefited from this missive and that there will be additional material available in future.